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I am keenly interested in portraying the human condition and our connection to each other, our similarities, the struggles and joys we all share. Women's and children’s issues are of special interest to me and some of my work has expanded to social commentary. I like to create images that tell a story with multiple layers of meaning to draw in the viewer and elicit a strong emotional response.

About a year and a half ago my work took a turn and became much more personal. I wanted to overcome personal fears of exposing myself too much to others by telling more of my own personal story. This work resulted in my current solo exhibition at TAG Gallery titled Wende/Transformation (see my event page here or on Facebook here).

I was born in 1962’s West-Berlin, in close proximity to the Berlin Wall and spent my formative years there among a people that in general are very reserved. Within my own family there were walls built up and torn down which shouldn’t have been. I realized walls were a major theme running throughout my life and for the first time I wanted to explore something so personal through my work. Making the resulting paintings public was one way of my breaking down an internal wall I had built up myself. All my life I had erected my own walls of protection and fears but since moving to the wide open spaces of the American Southwest I had been learning to tear them down.

With this continuing series I am using the Berlin Wall as metaphor for all of the walls in our lives. Little did I know when I started this series last year just how politically timely it would be now with the current talk of division and building walls!

The paintings examine the endless contradiction and effects of walls.  Walls are real and physical, imagined and psychological. They make visible one’s fears, anxieties and insecurities. They separate and yet offer a common purpose. They divide us yet invite us to scale them and tear them down, to come together again. They offer comfort, though false, yet feed hate and fear. They isolate and protect. Walls keep people out AND in. They shelter us and yet make us want to break free. They repel and tempt. They control and we rebel. They are a prison and a freedom. We can choose to erect them or tear them down.

One example of the contradictory nature of walls is Schutzengel (Guardian Angel):

Schutzengel (Guardian Angel), 40”x60” pastel

When I spotted the graffiti of the angel on an actual left over piece of the Berlin wall still standing I knew it would perfectly illustrate my point of actually having felt protected by this ugly horrible wall as a child. “Schutzengel” literally translates to “protection angel”. Since I lived on the West side I never felt oppressed or locked in as a child in Berlin, but actually saw the wall as protecting us from the Russians.  Only when we ventured over into East Germany, either to visit or travel through, did I feel the oppression. The piece had to be very large in scale (40”x60”) and the figure about life size so the viewer might feel the oppression of the wall on one hand and the sense of protection from the large angel on the other.

Home is a similar example:

Home, 20”x20” pastel

The model stands in front of a steel wall (the original was made out of concrete), a memorial to the division of the city from August 13, 1961 to November 9, 1989 and in commemoration of the victims of Communist tyranny. During the photo shoot the light above the model's head appeared spontaneously and immediately gave me the title for this painting, referring not only to my hometown but our true spiritual home which is always present even in the darkest moments.

As you can see titles are very important to me. They add yet another layer of meaning and accentuate the content of each piece. Some of these paintings’ titles are inspired by Pink Floyd. Their music (the “Wall” album of course, but others as well) has always been among my most played in the studio but became instrumental in the creation of these works for obvious reasons.

Mother, Did It Have To Be So High and Daddy, What D’Ya Leave Behind For Me are taken directly from Pink Floyd lyrics.

Daddy, What D’Ya Leave Behind For Me? 20”x40” pastel

Both paintings and their titles refer not only to the Berlin wall but to my own upbringing. There are several small personal references "hidden in open view" in Daddy…, but the main theme of what our ancestors and families leave behind for us through our personal as well as the world's history is obvious. Personal references such as names and dates are also hidden in other pieces of this series.

Borders and Boundaries, 28”x28” pastel

Borders and Boundaries again refers to external political and internal personal restrictions and/or lack of them. By adding text and what I hope are intriguing titles the viewer is invited to venture beyond the obvious realistic image and explore the content of the work further.

The title for the next piece is from Leonard Cohen’s song Anthem which lyrics have had a profound impact on me. Here I used the addition of metal leaf to emphasize them.

There Is A Crack In Everything, That’s How The Light Gets In, 20”30” pastel and metal leaf

Someone To Watch Over Me (Self Portrait At Age Three) is my most personal work yet:

Someone To Watch Over Me (Self Portrait At Age Three), 24”x24” mixed media

While I used models as stand-ins for myself in the previous paintings here I used a reference photo of myself at age three. Wanting to add even more content I used mixed media including collage from old newspaper images depicting the signs and watch towers I used to see along the wall. I used heavily applied red acrylic in the background dripping over an outline of West and East Berlin to emphasize the communist threat around my city. The piece is a reference to my having felt watched all the time but also wishing to have had someone to watch over me MORE at other times.

This series continues into my figures in water paintings which on the surface appear to be nothing but pretty women in swimming pools but actually tell the story of how my emigration to America helped me step out from behind my walls and dive more freely into the deep end of life.

How do you paint a portrait not of people but of their relationship to each other?

Lately I have been taking on more and more commissions for portraits of couples, either for wedding anniversaries or birthdays. On the top of this post is the latest one for the occasion of a 51st wedding anniversary.

It all started with this painting of me kissing my "almost-husband", Rich:

BJ and Jerry  14" x 14"

Another amazing artist, BJ, and his partner chose this image from the many reference photos we shot even though neither is looking straight ahead and we are even looking up BJ's nose! But what it clearly shows is pure joy, fun and the love between them. This was not staged but rather was a shot I caught between the posing. Often these are the best ones!

This  next one was taken a step further still:

Howard and Rachel, For a Thousand Years More 16 x 16"

Rachel wanted an Up Close & Personal portrait of her husband and herself for his birthday but I suggested we add another layer of meaning and personal touch. They picked a song with special significance to them and I had Rachel come into the studio to hand letter the lyrics herself! The wave at the bottom not only underscores the song's theme of timelessness but also refers to their love of the ocean and their beach side home. I love that the client had an actual hand in the creation of this very special gift of art for her husband!

Even in these earlier pieces below the couples were open to a more unconventional approach to maternity portraiture. In one you don't even see the woman's face but the focus is on the Dad and his feelings waiting for his son's arrival. The other has a touch of traditionalism with the man's protective arms around his wife but also shows off her tattoo, the Chinese symbol for Tao, inspiring the title.

This was a fun piece to paint of a surfer I observed in Hanalei Bay, Kauai, HI. I was asked to write a step-by-step demo by the website asportinglife.com and you can see it on their site here. Check out some of their other posts, quite a nice collection of sport art and photography!

I donated this piece to an event called Mystery Masterpiece at Studio Channel Islands Art Center where I'm a resident artist and board member. The event is a fun one where the artists are kept secret from the buyers until after purchase so the art is chosen on its own merit.

The collector who chose this painting will stop by my studio to get it signed properly on the front before framing:)

This is the first painting I did from the model shoot at Margaret Dyer's demo at IAPS last month. I loved the angle of the arms, the focus on the head with its loosely pinned up hair and face in lovely profile. I also really liked the abstract quality to the composition caused by the blue sheet taking up half of the space. Even though in reality that sheet had a pattern of butterflies on it, I left those out because I wanted to keep it as simple as possible so it would not distract from the figure. I also changed the color of the sheet, originally making it a bright turquoise that looked lovely against that olive toned background but was not right overall. The value was wrong and as I learned from Margaret, value is everything! Changing it to a different and darker blue was much better.

The biggest challenge when painting after seeing a demo, especially from more than one artist as I did at IAPS, is knowing what to apply to your own process and what to leave out. I absolutely love seeing work that is much looser than mine, and I mean LOVE it, but yet somehow whenever I try to paint that way I'm never quite happy with it. In fact, I feel like I'm being a bit sloppy or worked too fast. I have to admit to myself that I do like a little more tighter look in my own work, not totally photo realistic, mind you (and upon closer inspection mine is not, despite the fact that people compare it to photos all the time), but crisper and more "finished" looking. Finding the balance between learning from others but not copying them  and stretching oneself by trying  new techiniques yet staying true to one's own vision is not easy!

So, in the end I did apply the steps from Margaret's demo with a few adjustments:

• I still did a watercolor underpainting (as a matter of fact, I used watercolor dyes, a tip I learned from Christine Swann, to get as much brightness in the skin tones and vibrancy overall as I could). Here is the underpainting and the reference photo:

• I did not use any black
• From the beginning I used pretty much the local color (but being more daring with strokes of bolder colors) for the skin.
• I did take Margaret's advice and outlined the shadow areas as you can see in the photo above.
• I also used different colors for the background but making sure they were of the same value so that they virtually dispapear into one another when squinting ( I used an olive tone and a purple). I loved the effect!
• I kept the background much simpler by eliminating the window. I added a hint of it at one point but took it out because I found it distracting. I prefer simple backgrounds that let the subject pop!

I'm happy with the final painting. Believe it or not it IS much looser than my regular figure work and most of all I had a lot of fun painting it! I will also use the dyes again as an underpainting. I had no idea how much more saturated the colors are, what fun!

I'd like to share my process of portrait painting with you. First, let me address the photo issue: yes, I paint portraits mostly from photos and while I could write a whole essay about this controversial issue (yes, OF COURSE, painting from a live model is preferential and I still practice it regularly!), let me just say for now that I love capturing spontaneous moments full of emotion which cannot be held for a long pose from life. Especially when it comes to painting portraits of children I find it essential to use photography to capture their exuberance and personalities. To me a painting of a child sitting still while posing does nothing to capture the spirit or character of that child. As any parent knows, children hardly ever sit still, so I have no desire to capture them that way. In order to get good photos as references, I definitely prefer meeting the kids and taking the photos myself. This allows me to get to know them, view their coloring in a natural setting, observe them from all angles and interact with them in order to catch glimpses of their personality.

In the case of Abby, my model for "Reluctant Princess", I already knew her and had asked her and her brother to be my model for the day. With their mom's okay I brought along some props and shot lots of pictures (I hope to share more with you in the future). The moment I put that tiara on Abby's head (which I knew was against type), I knew I had the making of a painting! 

Back in my studio, I printed out an 8x11" copy of the best image. Since I work on Wallis sanded white museum paper which does not allow for easy erasing I prefer to get the drawing correct on a separate sheet of paper first and then transfer that to my painting surface using transfer paper (knowing that the basic likeness and proportions are correct allows me to focus on the values and colors during the actual painting process). I then retrace the lines with pastel pencils and spray them with fixative so I won't lose them in my next step: the underpainting (see image 1).

I then create an underpainting with watercolor (image 2), using bold colors, sometimes complementary to the local colors added later (for instance, in a green landscape I love using reds and oranges first which then sparkle through the green final layers). For skin tones I always use watercolor so I can still see my drawing underneath, but for background and clothing I sometimes use pastels which I wet with odorless turpenoid to create a wash.

The underpainting lets me get rid of the white of the paper and establish my palette and values very quickly. I usually go very bold with the colors during this step knowing I can always tone things down. This step also helps me to loosen up. The great thing about the medium of pastel is the forgiving nature of it. Just about anything can be fixed, covered, redone. It certainly eases the fear of that blank paper!

Also, the underpainting can help me envision where I want to go with the background if I don't have a plan for this yet, as was the case here. Sometimes, I have a complete plan in mind for the finished image, but if I don't, seeing the subject outside of the photo, enlarged in my composition with some color added, most often inspires the next steps. At this point, while I was waiting for the watercolor wash to dry, a bright pink background kept popping into my mind, but thankfully I pushed that aside and settled on a grey/green background that would let Abby's hair and face be the focus (image 3).

As you can see I started adding dry pastel over the watercolor in the hair and face.

I decided the background needed something more and added a darker value of the grey/green to really bring out the tiara and sunlit face. I used an opposing diagonal to the one already created by her pose to create an X composition which brings contrast and balance to the painting at the same time and adds interest (image 4).

Image 4 also shows broad strokes of pastel added everywhere excpet the tiara, which I saved for last (wanting to firmly establish the hair first). To create harmony I add touches of the background color to the hair and skin, but in this case I decided to leave the background color untouched by anything other than that beautiful grey/green (one of my favorite colors among my hundreds of pastel sticks). Usually it's a good idea to add some of the subject's colors into the background as well, but rules are meant to be broken sometimes!

In image 5 you can see that I changed the line in the background, refined the eyes and started to blend the many colors found in the skintones. I very lightly blend with fingers in some areas, but more often use the pastels sticks themselves to blend the edges where different colors meet. Pastel pensils can also be used to lightly hatch across areas of softer pastel to blend them. I tend to blend more in children's portraits than adults because their skin is naturally so much smoother. After everything else was pretty much done, I tackled the tiara which required keen obersavtion and patience. I wanted to create a realistic look without overdoing it and still staying pretty loose. As you can see in the close up, the tiara is painted in strokes of color barely indicating the individual rhinestones, but by paying close attention to the values and directions of the strokes it ultimately created a realistic look.

 I also made the t-shirt much darker and added loose strands of individual hairs with a pastel pencil or sharpened hard pastel stick. I checked and double checked the values and likeness in mirrors (I have one large one by my easel and also use a hand held old compact mirror) and from a distance of at least 10 feet. You can see the finished portrait at the top of this post and again below:

Ah, what great intentions I had for a whole weekend of painting en plein air during the paint out/retreat at the Mission San Antonio de Padua in Monterey County, CA! This event was hosted by the California Art Club, a very prestigious art organization whose very accomplished members include the top plein air painters in the U.S. I have always wanted to go on a painting retreat where everything is provided from the bed to the meals along with gorgeous scenery. Being surrounded by other artists all doing their creative thing is inspiring yet intimidating to me. I like to think of all of us in a giant creative bubble, our blissful zones stretching across the fields to bump up against each other, to nudge each other along. Like the stream of consciousness which I believe runs through everything and everyone around us and helps carry everyone along on their journey. Then why, oh why, is it so scary to paint on location with lots of other people around?

Here's a recap of the weekend:

My friend and fellow Studio Channel Islands Artist-in-Residence Anette Power and I headed out mid morning on a Friday for the 4-5 hour drive north. We stopped in Avila Beach, a picturesque little beach town with brightly colored shops, for a delicious lunch. Next, we stopped in Paso Robles so I could introduce Anette to Anne Laddon, founder of Studios on the Park, an art center similar to ours. I knew the two would hit it off and they did! Anette was invited to participate in an upcoming plein air "Quick Draw" event in Paso Robles.

That made it worth us getting to the mission pretty late in the day, with just enough time to check in to our rooms and meet the other 40something artists in the dining room. Some of the artists had been at the mission all day painting and had already produced some nice work. I felt my usual guilt at not having been more productive that first day. It's something I wrestle with all the time, never quite allowing myself to enjoy some down time. I was determined to get at least 3-4 paintings done on Saturday!

After dinner Joan, our wonderful mission guide, gave us a tour of the grounds. She is quite the storyteller and we loved the tales about Rosario, the Holy Cat of the mission and how he came to his name, the history of the Salinan Indians of the area and Padre Serra who founded the mission in 1771, and the little girl Gigi who is the only person buried inside the mission. This mission is the only one in California not to be in a town or surrounded by farm fields. The location is remote and pretty much the way it was when it was founded except for the large Army base all around.

If you'd like to learn more about the mission and even plan a trip there (whether to paint or just relax), check out their link here. The mission was ordered by the State of California to be retrofit for earthquake safety and needs to raise $15 million to avoid being shut down. They love visitors, either groups, families or individuals for day trips or lodging. If you are a painter they also have 65 artists' work for sale in their gift shop, so you might want to consider joining those ranks or even donating a piece to their fundraisers. The rooms are sparse with just two beds and a sink, the showers and toilets are communal, but I loved that simplicity. Since there was no TV and no internet we went to bed early every night and were ready for a full day of painting after breakfast at eight. 

Knowing that I would be able to concentrate better on that first scary painting of the day if I was not surrounded by a lot of people, I headed out into the field close to the Grist Mill. I worried a bit about the rattle snakes which were already coming awake in the warm spring air (and Joan had filled our heads with lots of tales about them coming out of the rafters of the mill, living in the adobe walls all over the grounds, etc.), but I liked the simple design created by the shape of the building, the low wall of the auqa duct connected to it and the field around it enough to put those thoughts aside. But to be honest, it was mostly the fear of having someone look over my shouder that was greater than the fear of snakes! Why, after all this time, is it still so hard to tune out other people and their opinions?

That first painting did nothing to easy my trepidations. Simply put, I hated it. It looked amateurish and sloppy instead of fresh and lively. I didn't like the surface I used even though it was not a new one. I wrestled with my demons of insecurity and used all of the positive affirmations I could think of to not beat myself up and pack it all in! One person did stop by and wanted to see what I had done, but fortunately I had already packed it in my backpack. (Back in the studio, I have rinsed the painting off and will try again but this time with more oomph!)

It was time for lunch and I was slogging my way to the dining room, shoulders drooping from the heavy backpack and somber thoughts. As I passed a few rusted old tools and wagons scattered throughout the many acres of the mission I took out my camera to shoot close ups, composing closely cropped abstracts in my viewfinder and getting more and more excited. Dropping all my gear to the ground I spent the next 30 minutes in a flurry of excitement shooting more than a hundred images of rust and dust, wood and crevices. I was late for lunch but had made a decision: I would paint what really excited me, not what was expected of me or what everyone else was painting! I had felt that I was SUPPOSED to paint the mission, its buildings and surrounding landscape, but WHO exactly was telling me to do that? I felt an obligation to even you, my dear two or three readers (and a few more on Facebook), to show the finished paintings that I thought you expected to see. And you may well be expecting to see familiar images of missions and may be disappointed but I am learning to listen more to my own voice and quieting those outside voices of others. Although I loved the mission, I just did not feel excited to actually paint it in the traditional way and did not feel like I had anything new to say about it. Once I tuned in more about what really gets my mojo going (and for me that seems to be more abstract design and closely cropped, zoomed in images) I was on a roll!

I spent the afternoon creating three paintings in the courtyard in close proximity to the other painters. The dark windows against the light adobe walls had really captured my attention and I wanted to practice getting all those colors in that seemingly off-white wall down. I could finally see them, all the peaches, blues, pinks and yellows and I was itching to paint them! Part of me still felt that I owed an explanation to why I was painting just one window or just a small part of a wagon wheel, and sometimes I did say something to passersby, but after a while, I just let go off justifying myself to anyone. 

Here are the resulting paintings from that afternoon:

 Mission San Antonio Window I, 8x6"        

  Mission San Antonio Window II,6 x 8     

    Mission San Antonio Wagon Wheel, 8 x 6

I felt good about my productivity after such a sluggish start. I also felt that I learned a lot that day. I have painted adobe walls before but always struggled with the nuances of colors found in them. I really could not see all the colors I saw other artists put into their paintings of these types of walls. I don't know if it's just a matter of experience, of putting in the hours of direct observation and painting or the meditating I did in the chapel in the mornings while Gregorian Chants played in the background 24/7...but I was finally able to see what they see! AND I was able to put it down on paper! I knew I had to just be careful to use the same value, then any color would work, but I was thrilled to finally have reached another level that had been difficult for me.

The next morning we debated whether to paint more onsite at the mission or head back south and paint along the way. We chose the latter, because we wanted to make a stop at the Santa Barbara Museum of Art and a few galleries. We were exhausted and eager to get home (why is it that standing still at an easel can be so tiring??) but determined to get at least one more painting in. That afternoon we found Loon Point Beach in Summerland, lugged our gear from the parking lot to the beach and scoped out the location. Immediately I saw a scene with Eucalyptus trees, which I love, and was inspired, but once again, my shyness got the better of me. I decided to head down further along the beach where I saw less people. I dragged poor Anette along, over a long stretch of nothing but boulders and rocks until we gave up and headed back to our original point. Well, at least we got our exercise for the day! By the time we got started there was very little good light left and we literally raced through our set-up, composition sketch and painting, but oh, what fun I had! It forced me to very quickly lay down the important shapes and values without being able to get distracted by details. I didn't have time to take pictures of the sketch and underpainting but believe me it was very simple. I then threw on colors with abandon and was actually giddy with joy and excitement! I didn't even care about the couple looking over our shoulder for a few minutes, I was just having a blast! Below, you can see the finished piece, with VERY little touch up in the studio. I wanted to leave it as loose and fresh as it was at the scene. The colors in reality are actually a bit brighter then you see in the photo especially the lighter blues in the foreground bushes.

Loon Point Beach, 8 x 6

We arrived home spent but happy. In the end we did do a lot of painting, networked and made new friends, filled our creative wells by visiting exhibitions at a museum and galleries, had some much needed down time away from all other responsibilities at home, had some "car seat counseling" while driving and learned a WHOLE LOT about each other, but most of all I learned this:

Tune out everybody else's voice, let go of any expectations you think others have of you and just follow your bliss! We can paint a variety of subject matter if we want, but let's always bring ourselves to it. I love looking at traditional paintings, especially the many plein air paintings done by California Artists, but I'm not always happy with my own results. Whether that's a lack of skills (I'm sure that has something to do with it) or the feeling that I just have nothing new to add unless I focus on the things that truly appeal to me, and paint them MY way, who knows. For now, I'll keep painting en plein air as much as I can and I have faith that through those many hours of practicing my own style will emerge.

Here are some more photos from the mission along with a couple that got me so excited and will turn into small paintings later:

  Anette in front of the mission

   Artists painting in the courtyard   

     The mission halls at dusk  

 The Grist Mill   

   Our group of artists

Rusted tools and wagons scattered throughout:

I didn't realize that so much time has passed since my last blog post! So much for making it a weekly thing...hhhmmm. Well, I could use the holidays as an excuse, so I will:), but now it's the end of January! I said I'd share my struggles as a full time artist with you, so this balancing act of painting and the business side of art (which includes blogging, sending out my newsletter which I finally did, entering shows, marketing, research, bookkeeping) continues to be a big challenge for me.

I have also joined the Board fo Directors of the Studio Channels Islands Art Center where my studio is located, which takes up some time but is worth it. I wanted to get involved to learn all I could about our art organization and to help make it grow. To that end, I also started posting regular Facebook posts called "Live from the Studios" featuring one artist each weekday creating their work. Yes, it requires some time, but I have also very much enjoyed getting to know each of our many artists and learn about their work. I want to give my friends and fans great art to view and if that happens to be by someone other than me, that's okay. I stopped viewing other artists as competition a long time ago, because it can make one crazy and only diminishes our self esteem even more. I do my best to think of it as a comraderie and that there is enough room in the world for all of our art. The more people start seeing art and realizing how much value it adds to their environment, the more they lose their intimidation by it and understand that yes, even a person with an average income can afford to buy original art, the better it is for all of us in the creative fields. I also believe in the whole karma thing "What goes around, comes around", "What you put out, you will get in return", so I'd rather help promote my fellow artists than view them as the competition. I'd honestly love it if one of my peeps bought one of their creations! Maybe one of their collectors will purchase one of mine in the future, who knows, and if they don't that's ok, too.

On the creating side, it's been a bit of a struggle lately. I was busy for quite a while with a large traditional commissioned portrait of three half figures. I find these difficult because I don't feel as free to put more emphasis on one person over the next, like I would do in my personal work to create a dynamic composition. I'd bring out one person as a focal point and push the others back more, but I just can't do that when it comes to three siblings! Wouldn't want to create any kind of sibling rivalry and want to keep my client (their father) happy. Well, he is very happy with the piece and I'm now working on some new personal pieces before starting the next commission.

And that's where I really started to struggle. One can get paralyzed facing a new sheet of paper or canvas...the possibilities are so endless. I could work on some more Small Treasures, maybe some sea- and landscapes from my recent trip up the coast through Big Sur, or I could add to my series on teen issues. I worked my way through hundreds of reference photos, printed out a bunch, painted a few small ones only to become more and more unsatisfied. This in turn affected my confidence even more and I started to seriously doubt myself. Here I was making this major life transition from a full time job with benefits to being a full time artist with studio rent to pay and I couldn't come up with anything exciting? I could feel panic rising in me, and it took all I had to just KEEP THE FAITH. I have been through these valleys before and I KNOW there is always a mountaintop coming up in the near future.

Julia Cameron, the author of the classic "The Artist's Way" had this to say: "CHOP is necessary. Chop means you're growing, chop is a period of creative vulnerability in which your style shifts, becomes malleable and porous...in other words: open to inspiration!"

I have this quote written in my sketchbook and refer to it whenever I feel unsure of where I'm going. 

So, the only thing to do, no matter how hard, is to keep working, keep showing up whether we feel like it or not, whether we have an idea for the next piece or not. In the doing of it, those automatic actions of taking out the sketchpad and pencil, stretching that canvas, mixing up some paint, applying a few strokes on the paper...it starts to flow. And even if the flow creates nothing we are happy with, keep going, take out that next sheet of paper and start anew. I like to repeat this mantra to myself whenever I am attempting something new and scary: "Just do it, don't judge it". I believe this is also Julia Cameron's advice. The judging is reserved for later, if you do it while in the process of creating it will paralyze you with fear and doubt.

After another small piece failed to meet my standards I decided to do some life drawing and asked my daughter Sam to come model for me. I figured I can always hone my skills that way and it doesn't have to end up for sale. Well, she was tired and kept yawning and fidgeting, so after an hour I gave up. It was very hard to get into the zone this way. I don't blame her, it was the end of the day for her and sitting as a model is not easy. But even in that one hour, I learned a lot, was reminded to look for those lost edges, where the subject blurs into the background, to check angles, etc. It was NOT wasted time even though it did not produce a finished drawing.

The next day, I visited with other artists and shared my frustrations. I got advice about surfaces and framing (my materials and out of pocket costs having been part of my recent misgivings) and went back to work with renewd energy. I love being at an art center with so many other artists for this reason alone!

And all of a sudden I had a vision of what I wanted to do next which is to produce some small paintings along the lines of my Small Treasures series, meaning they are very budget friendly because they are so small and I'm selling them unframed, but still feature people. I saw the first piece clearly in my mind, and you can see here. I wanted to explore leaving a large area of the painting light, to achieve a more graphic look, and I quite like it. The title Angel in Waiting presented itself before I even started. It's a reference to the wing shape of the steam in the mirror, but also refers to the girl herself. So often young women do not see the angels they truly are, just waiting to be let out of hiding. 

Once I post this, I'm off to the studio. There are two meetings to attend and a new client to photograph, but I already have the next painting started and am excited to get to it. I'm climbing my way out of the valley!

 In art as in life it’s important to cherish and savor each progress made, every tiny step toward growth taken, every blessing, opportunity, and sign of beauty that is plopped in our path, all of the small treasures that we so often overlook in our busy-ness, our race to the next big goal.

I have been practicing gratitude in my life for a number of years now and it has made all the difference. As a natural skeptic and cynic it was always easier for me to see the things that were going wrong, to doubt, to worry, to feel not good enough. It has taken a lot of conscious work to switch my thinking to recognize all of the good in life and in people (including myself) and even more work to start believing that things can and do work out just fine, to believe in the impossible, the formerly unimaginable. Once I let go and started having faith, to enjoy the little things more, and be truly appreciative, life became much richer and I felt much less pressure.

Since my time in the studio was so limited while raising kids and working a day job, I felt enormous pressure to produce a successful painting when I did have time at the easel. Either that commission had to turn out well quickly or the painting had to be good enough for the next big show to enter. I am mostly self-taught, other than taking workshops, and was building my resume by winning awards and gaining signature or master level memberships in prestigious art organizations. There was very little time for just having fun in the studio, experimenting, trying something new and different.

Now, that I have achieved some of those earlier goals, have a resume I am proud of, and have more time to paint, I am taking time in between the commissions and other portrait and figure work to create a new series of very small pastels. One added bonus is that I am able to offer them to a broader audience because of their very low prices (I am selling them unframed to keep the cost down).

 I love seeing abstract design in nature or man made structures and have been photographing bridges, textured walls, rocks, etc., while at the beach watching Rich’s attempts at surfing (he’s actually doing really well for a novice!). The complementary color scheme in the first batch of these paintings, plus the shapes and patterns the structures created were just so beautiful to me. You can view the first six pieces in my new category of “Small Treasures” on my website here. I titled them “Under the Boardwalk” and yes, there will be an accompanying series titled “Down by the Sea”, featuring the beautiful compositions that rocks and waves can produce (that song has been stuck in my head ever since I started working on this series!). I will also throw in a more typical landscape every now and then, especially the ones done en plein air, and whatever else tickles my fancy. The main idea is to create these tiny morsels for fun!

But besides that fun, and being able to offer my paintings to those people who have wanted to add one to their home but could not afford to do so before, I had one more motive for the series: to create more work in general. Going into the studio in the morning with several of these small pieces all laid out, the surfaces prepped and ready to take on that first wild wash of watercolor, is motivating and energizing. It’s a nice break between the more pressure filled work of commissions and helps me feel like I’m getting stuff done! I had been aware of the Daily Painters phenomenon for quite a while and envied the artists who could be so prolific and disciplined to complete one small painting a day and still work on larger things. This is my way of joining their ranks, maybe not on a daily basis yet, but who knows, I may get there one day. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy creating each one of these small treasures, just for the pure joy of noticing something beautiful in the ordinary, putting it down on paper quickly and sharing it with others.

Here is an example of two paintings with just the watercolor underpainting done and the resulting finished pieces.

Click here to see all six. I’d love to hear what you think of these new paintings in the comments below.

If you'd like to purchase one, you can do so securely through paypal by clicking the "Buy Now" button on each image or by contacting me directly.

Thank you for reading my blog and remember to savor the small things in life!

Finishing up a couple of portrait commissions before The Big Move. This is Lyle, the little brother of Iris. Such great subjects to paint!

Painting in between packing, getting estimates from movers, processing the sale of two homes, arranging for renovations in the new home, selling stuff we no longer need on craigslist, getting ready for an Open Studio/Art Sale next week, etc, etc. NOT easy to get into that creative zone with all those other things fighting for space in my mind, but somehow it's all getting done. One more Up Close & Personal commission to go, then I will pack up the studio and will have a few weeks of moving and settling into the new space in California  before I can get back to painting!

This is my latest Up Close & Personal portrait, and is it ever personal! I worked from a photo taken of me kissing my partner-in-life and crime Rich during a visit to Germany last year. The poor guy not only participated in an Ironman Triathlon event in Frankfurt, he also had to meet my whole family for the first time! He did very well under the pressure, I must say. This was during a sightseeing trip to a nearby small town. We were sitting under a red umbrella at a sidewalk café, enjoying the summer weather and down time. I just loved Rich's expression on this picture and couldn't wait to paint it. He is not exactly known for being calm and still (let's just say he can be quite the adrenaline junkie!) so this image of sweet surrender to the moment is near and dear to my heart, as is the man I'm kissing!
These fun, small captures of every day life are my take on portraiture for today's families with our busy schedules. They also work very well for people who do not like having their picture taken (I happen to be one of them!), since I focus in on only the best features, the ones that most express the personality of the person.
If you'd like to see more of these contemporary portraits, please click here.
If you would like to order one or more for your own loved ones, please contact me. There is still time to put one under the Christmas Tree!

I have been absolutely swamped this summer which is why I am so late posting about my upcoming exhibition at Luminarte Design Gallery in Dallas. But here it is October and the reception is tomorrow evening! I did send out email blasts, posted it on Facebook and promoted it in many other ways, but somehow forgot to update the blog.
Oh, well, I hope some of you can make it anyway. I am so grateful to the gallery for not taking a commission from the Moni's Kids paintings, only my other work, so that all of the proceeds from those portraits can go towards the library we started in Haiti this summer.

If you'd like to see a preview of my newest work which will be shown as the second part of this exhibition, you can click here. I was thrilled that the gallery specifically requested work in the Up Close & Personal style, because it allowed me to work up some new images that were not commissioned pieces. I could play with different designs and compositions, adding lettering and text. I definitely plan on creating more paintings in this series. Some of the new work merges the teenage series with the Up Close & Personal series which I think works well.

I welcome your comments and feedback about this new work!

Moni's Kids is now formally a non-profit corporation in the state of Texas!

Thanks to the help of TALA (http://www.talarts.org ) who provide pro-bono legal and accounting services to artists and non-profit arts organizations in Texas. My wonderful lawyer Victoria is also helping me file the paperwork to gain official 501(c)3 tax-exempt status with the IRS which we hope to have approved by the end of the year. It's a ton of work to form a non-profit and I am so grateful to have found some help with this, so I can concentrate on creating the paintings and organizing our trip back to Haiti in just a couple of weeks.

 It can get overwhelming at times trying find the time to get it all done. From the painting of the portraits to the marketing and selling of them, promotion, exhibtions, shipping, staying organized in the office and studio (especially since I still have my other painting obligations and continue to enter a lot of shows). Then there is the whole social media aspect of it hat can be extremely valuable but time consuming. And right now, my spare bedroom/office is full of books and supplies we are delivering to the kids in Haiti soon. Add in my day job which takes up several days a week, plus family obligations....well, let's just say it's not always pleasant to be around me lately, watching me jump through all the hoops!

I am just trying to tackle one step at a time and plow ahead. I did not have all of the answers when I started this process last fall and I still don't. I am learning as I go along and love seeing the many doors open as I approach them. I leapt before I saw the net, and miraculously the net does appear! I followed my heart on this one, and while there have been stumbling blocks, there have also been many new insights and helping hands appearing out of nowhere. New ideas and plans for Moni's Kids are revealing themselves to me all the time and I have faith that I will figure out how to implement them when the time is right.

For now, it's just one baby step at a time, one foot in front of the other, following the path I believe I need to be on, crossing each bridge as I come to it and enjoying the unfolding of each event. All clichés, I know, but oh, so true!

This recent painting is part of my teen series, examining issues of identity and finding one's way in the world. It was quite a challenge taking the reference photos in a steamy bathroom without fogging up the lens!

This is the sister of "Ella". I loved working with this family from Wichita Fallas, TX! Like her sister's portrait it was a challenge to paint large scale portraits from small photos taken by someone else several years earlier, but the family is very pleased with the results, which is what matters most!

This is the latest commissioned portrait I just finished. Ella is a sweet little girl who is actually older than she appears here. The family had a portrait done of their firstborn years ago by one of the pastel atists who inspired me to start working in the medium myself. His name was Steve Grey and he passed away a few years ago at a relatively young age. Ella’s  family had wanted portraits done of their two daughters as well, but wanted to keep the ages of all the kids at about the same age. This meant that I had to work from older photos supplied by the family. This is always difficult, but I did get to meet Ella in person and photograph her to see the coloring of her eyes, skin and hair. I also got a glimpse of her personality which helped me create her likeness.

After completing the drawing I sent an image to the family for approval of the overall composition. I then painted Ella’s face almost to the finish and had it approved by the family before moving on the dress. I knew this would be a time consuming challenge because of the intricate floral pattern. Because of the many folds I had to make sure the value of each flower was correct so that the lighting on the dress would read accurately. The only way I could tackle this was by being very methodical. Each day I knew I would only get a small area done. I had to be mentally prepared so I would not be frustrated at the end of a working session about the lack of progress being made. One fold for the day was progress I had to be happy with!
While I normally prefer to stand while painting, for this task I sat on a stool and listened to talk radio. It took  almost a week, but the dress was finally finished. I was then ready to move on to the background which I had only underpainted with loose color washes up to then. I thought this part would be the easy part, but I was wrong. I struggled with every blade of grass and could not figure out why it was so difficult until I realized that I had trouble going from being so detailed and tight on the dress to being loose and impressionistic for the background!
Every day I entered the studio with dread, being unsure about how to commence. Finally, in utter frustration, I took the painting outside and brushed all but the figure completely off the paper. I use Wallis paper which is very forgiving and can be reworked easily. Pastel dust was flying everywhere on my back patio. It was extremely liberating!
Once I had the painting back up on the easel the tightness, the fear and dread were gone. I fired in with abandon and finally let loose with some strong colors and decisive strokes. I figured I had nothing to lose, since I had already brushed it off once and could do it again. This did the trick and the painting finally came together. The family was thrilled with the end result and I am currently working on Ella’s sister’s portrait. Yes, she is wearing a cute little dress with a flower pattern but not nearly as intricate as this one. But there ARE a lot of folds…

Since I am way behind posting new images of the kids, let me get right to it:
 
"Kenley" 10"x10" pastel by Daggi Wallace

"Kenley" 16"x16" finished size by Daggi Wallace and Kenley

This is Kenley, and boy, does he have something special about him! This 15 year old boy had such a dignified, sincere air about him, one could tell he had a heart of gold.
Recently, I received an email from a lady who doesn't know me, but saw his portrait in an email forwarded to her by another woman she didn't know and wrote me the most beautiful message. She was so touched by Kenley's face, that she felt compelled to help him and has since signed up to make regular donations through New Life Children's Home in Port-au-Prince where all of these children live! I was thrilled beyond words! She called Kenley "regal", and thus put into words what I could not when I met him. It fits him perfectly and I'm so happy that this wonderful lady in Texas felt such a connection with this boy in Haiti.
It made the time and effort of this project even more worthwhile to me, gave me the affirmation I needed to keep going. Thank you, Nancy!

Next I painted Kenley's brother, MacKenley, but I honestly did not know at the time that they are not only brothers but TWINS! There is actually a third brother, Roberto, who is three years older, but I did not photograph him. The list of kids to be portrayed was chosen by the staff at New Life.
Here is MacKenley's portrait and his drawing:

"MacKenley" 10"x10" pastel by Daggi Wallace

"MacKenley" 16"x16" finished size by Daggi Wallace and MacKenley

Both brothers came to the home at age 6 with severe malnutrition and Tuberculosis. As quiet and shy as Kenley was, his brother seemed to be the opposite. Outgoing and confident, he posed like a model, totally comfortable in front of the camera. The staff told me that all three brothers are exceptional kids.

Next, I'd like you to meet Daniella:

"Daniella" 10"x10" pastel by Daggi Wallace

"Daniella" 16"x16" finished size by Daggi Wallace and Daniella

Don't you just love her delicate drawings? And she seemed delicate herself, giggling and being so shy while I took her picture. I was immediately smitten with her beauty and sweet smile. She, too, had TB when she arrived and suffered from malnutrition as so many of Haiti's children do. She is 12 years old and has been at New Life since she lost her mother during the earthquake.

And here is Stevenson, a 10 year old boy who lost both parents during the earthquake:

"Stevenson" 10"x10" pastel by Daggi Wallace

"Stevenson" 16"x16" finished size by Daggi Wallace and Stevenson

I thought his drawing was VERY interesting!
On the back of it he wrote that he wants to be a doctor, and added two more words: No mother, no father.
All I could do was give him a hug when I saw that.

I apologize for having taken so long to post an update. I am back to my full time job, but still painting the portraits every day I can. I am currently working on #17! I have not had a chance to photograph each one, but here a few more:


"Desir" 10"x10" pastel by Daggi Wallace
Desir is the cousin of Wendy (see other blog post about Wendy) and is nine years old. He suffered from malnutrition and TB as so many of the children there. He is such a cute boy, you just want to hug him! Notice the rubber band he is wearing around his neck. That's supposed to be his necklace!
Here is his drawing:

"Desir" 16"x16" finished size by Daggi Wallace and Desir

An update on Wendy, his cousin: I found out that he came to the orphanage from the interior of the country after the earthquake. He had severe TB of the bones ( which I didn't even realized existed!), was close to death and spent 3 months in a hospital.

This next portrait is of Vildarin, who is Vanessa's brother ( the little girl with the braids and chewing gum in the corner of her mouth, seen in another blog post).

"Viladrin" 10"x10" pastel by Daggi Wallace
He is 14 years old and came to the orphanage with severe malnutrition. Their mother was not able to care for the children who were found on the streets.
Here is the drawing that serves as background to his portrait:

"Viladrin" 16"x16" finished size by Daggi Wallace and Viladrin

And this is Youseline, a striking beauty in my opinion!

"Youseline" 10"x10" pastel by Daggi Wallace
She is 11 years old and lost her mother in the earthquake on January 12th. Life was not easy for her before then, either, since she also was suffering from malnutrition.
I love the small, intricate drawings on her paper:

"Youseline" 16"x16" finished size by Daggi Wallace and Youseline

As I am finishing more and more of these portraits I am surrounded by these kids in my studio and I love it! I am learning so much artistically and can't wait to apply it to my other paintings as well. It's impossible not to make strides when painting so many portraits in a row. Since each one is a new challenge I do not get bored at all, which was one of my concerns. I look at these precious faces, remember the kids and try to do them justice. It has been an incredibly rewarding experience and the wonderful emails I have received have been a huge confirmation that I am on the right path. Thank you all for the great support!

Here are the next two portraits in the "Moni's Kids" series. Sophonie is 13 years old and a real beauty. She lost both parents during the flooding in Gonaives, Haiti, caused by hurricane Jeanne in September, 2004. She struck me as very mature and sweet. She actually wrote "Thank you for the service" and "God bless you" ( with a few delightful misspellings!) on the front of her drawing. On the back she wrote that she wants to be a doctor. I hope she fulfills her dream!

"Sophonie" 16"x16" finished size by Daggi Wallace and Sophonie

"Wendy" 10"x10" pastel by Daggi Wallace

I can't tell you too much about Wendy yet, because he is one of the kids I still need to get the story for, but since I already painted him, I thought I'd share him with you. I can tell you that he is 10 years old, has a sister at the orphanage and was quite a character which I think you can tell from his portrait! And take a look at his drawing: I love the HUGE boat with the tiny person and flag at the bottom right. And he was so patient filling in all the petals of his flower with the white gel pen I had brought!

"Wendy" 16"x16" finished size by Daggi Wallace and Wendy

Meet Jimmy! When we first met the kids and told them about our project he was the first one to jump up to have his photo taken! The other boys made fun of him and teased him about being a "model", but he just kept on smiling and laughing. We could feel his kind, good natured spirit.

We also noticed his bandaged ankles. Jimmy came to the orphanage at the age of 7 and is now 16 years old. He suffers from sickle cell anemia and has had a wound on his legs for 6 years now. He hopes to get treatment from the state soon. For a brighter future for Jimmy he needs to be able to get vocational schooling to learn a trade. The money raised from this project could help with his medical treatments and tuition.
Here is a picture of the portrait with Jimmy's background. He wanted us to see the beauty of his country and drew beaches and palm trees, boats and homes that were still intact.

"Jimmy" 16x16 finished size by Daggi Wallace and Jimmy

If you would like to give this piece a home and help Jimmy in the process, please contact me or click below:

I'm making progress on the portraits of the kids from New Life Children's Home in Haiti and am ready to share some with you!

Vanessa is 10 years old and such a cutie! I was trying to get a photo of her blowing a bubble with the bubble gum we brought ( note to self: test out the gum beforehand to see if it actually makes good bubbles!), but it just wouldn't work. She giggled throughout and kept at it. I decided to leave the blue gum showing in the side of her mouth.

Vanessa came to the orphanage after she was found in the streets. Her mother suffered from mental illness and was unable to care for her.

The other picture shows the painting with the background drawing done by Vanessa. I love the intricate flowers and hearts she drew! This will give you an idea what the finished painting will look like. They will all be framed in black canvas floater frames with Tru Vue glass and all archival materials which will last for generations.

"Vanessa" 16x16 finished size by Daggi Wallace and Vanessa

Please, remember that the proceeds will go directly back to Vanessa and the other children portrayed in this series. I will make no profit off these paintings. If you would like to give this piece a home and help Vanessa in the process, please contact me or click below: